Time had ceased to have meaning at some point. If he wasn't tangled up with Lennon,then they were sleeping between rounds. Sometimes the fever would break and the Fae would wonder exactly what had come over him. But then a whimper or a touch was all it would take to rekindle it. Anything that suggested that Lennon needed him.
And he needed Lennon too. It was a fair deal that existed between them, each belonging to the other. He thinks about this when he wakes and sees the human still sleeping. Daeshim brushes his hair back from his face, and tries to ignore the bruises and scratches on his body, knowing that he's the one who put them there.
He forgets about the vines when he goes to the kitchen, not realizing that they're as protective as they are, and likely still under their own influence from this spell. They only retreat to allow Daeshim back into the room, tray in hand. He blinks when he sees him on the floor.
Lennon is pouting when he looks up at Daeshim coming back in, not really noticing the tray. He pulls the blanket around himself tighter though he aches to jump up and press into the other's arm.
"Where were you? Who were you with...?" Lennon asks, his fingers curling into the blanket.
He tries to remember what else he knew is important... what had he been trying to leave for...
"Baein... has he eaten?" Lennon asks. How long has he been in this room with just Daeshim, filled with need and desire and pain whenever Daeshim isn't close.
He holds the tray up in answer: one hot chocolate and one cup of tea rests on it. Daeshim quickly places it on the nightstand before returning to help Lennon up.
"...I didn't see him." The strangeness of this all really hits him when he admits that. "Oh! Hunter was here!"
Lennon allows Daeshim to help him up but the pouting isn't really assuaged even after he'd known what the other had been doing -- and that he hadn't seen Baein. He huffs quietly and goes to curl up on the bed again, waiting for the other to take a sip of the hot chocolate and hand it to him per usual.
"Why was Hunter here..." Lennon frowns, he likes Hunter but...he doesn't like the idea of Daeshim and Hunter...
Seriously, what's wrong with him?
"I ... wanted to make sure Baein was okay but I couldn't leave the room to go check. And you weren't here. Did you leave me to go with Hunter? You didn't give him any hot chocolate, right?"
Daeshim does exactly that, and for a moment everything feels normal. He scoots into bed beside him, blowing on the surface of his tea when Lennon asks his question. Questions.
"I would never make anyone else hot chocolate!"
They have a deal, and Daeshim must always honor his deals. But he seems less sure about the rest of it. Why was Hunter here?
"He needed to come in." He remembers that much. "He doesn't think he's one of us, so I nutted him."
Lennon takes the hot chocolate and shifts so he's halfway sitting up, pressing close to Daeshim's side because even if he's upset he needs the contact. He sips at his hot chocolate a bit some vague part of him is happy that tray wasn't also piled with cupcakes or something else. He rests his cheek on Daeshim's shoulder.
"Good," he mumbles, and he knows that the other would never but there's something very irrational about his thought processes. And he knows it but he can't fix it.
"You're not his, you're mine," Lennon says quietly, nuzzling Daeshim's shoulder. "I'm yours."
He still remembers Jasper's rules about mixing sex and food, and it seems like they can't stop doing the former in here. But he must try to get Lennon to the kitchen later.
Daeshim likes the weight of Lennon's head on his shoulder, likes the way that they're pressed together side by side. It's true every day, so he doesn't notice any strangeness to his thoughts, or the way he wants to puff up when Lennon says that he's his. (Honestly, even that isn't so strange.)
It's only when the other points out that he's locked in this room that Daeshim looks at his vines, which are rough and thorny in a way that they normally aren't. He studies them while sipping his tea and thinking on the answer.
"I had to keep you, and protect you. No one else is allowed to touch you."
Daeshim knows that he's taking it a bit too far, but right now he doesn't care. It feels natural.
Lennon thinks he should argue with the other's answer. He sips his hot chocolate and stares at the thorns on those vines, remembering it hurt to touch too hard. He bites at his lip not really noticing that his tail is swishing in the confines of the blanket. Lennon should insist that if he's not allowed to leave then Daeshim needs to make sure Baein is okay... bring Baein to him if he has to to feed him... However...
It's so easy to just take him at his word, to make a low sound at his answer. He presses closer as he puts the hot chocolate aside and hugs his arms around the other, wrapping his legs around him too -- just sort of koalaing to his side there.
"I'm yours. I just want you."
His brow furrows.
"But... Baein... if he's hungry... Check on him... and if he's hungry... you have to let him touch me long enough to drink."
It takes effort to put up any resistence to the words Daeshim had laid out. He doesn't want anyone else to touch him but Daeshim.
The feeling that was starting to build up inside of him is instantly soothed when Lennon wraps around him and says those words. And he knows he's right...Bae isn't a threat. Bae won't take Lennon away from him. When Daeshim tells himself this, he knows that it's true.
The vines crumble as Daeshim turns his head to press a kiss against his cheek.
"We can't let Bae go hungry."
Just because Lennon is his doesn't mean that he's willing to let the others suffer.
"I treated you poorly..." There's uncertainty in his voice. Things that he said and did during the literal heat of the moment come back to him if he thinks about it hard enough. "Didn't I?"
He places his own tea aside before sliding down and rolling on his side to face his human. He takes Lennon's hand while looking into his eyes, because if he looks any lower he knows he'll be distracted.
"I feel very strange. Stranger still because..." Daeshim swallows hard, struggling with his words. "Because I can't say that I hate it."
Lennon saying these things over and over again, Daeshim keeping him all to himself. He doesn't hate it.
“No, no…” Lennon argued softly. He presses his face against the others
neck, nuzzling it and layering kisses over tender skin.
Lennon loosens his grip and moves his head only to allow the other to
shift. He doesn’t release him though. His eyes glance at the hand Daeshim
had taken and then back up to meet his gaze.
“I do too,” Lennon admits, swallowing as he leans pressing their foreheads
together for a moment.
“But every part of you is mine and it’s okay.” Even the side that traps him
and is rough with him. It scares him how little he’s bothered by the first
thing.
Probably not as much as it scares Dae. But he can't control the way it makes him feel to be claimed too, and he wouldn't even if he could. So he lets himself be soothed by Lennon's affection, and the kisses that make him shiver despite the warmth in the room.
"...I would've brought you to a much prettier place in the Ruinwood. Somewhere with flowers, and a stream."
He can at least manage the first one for him. The vines suddenly have roses to go along with their thorns.
"Have you ever done it outside? In just the sunlight?"
Lennon tilts his head and he looks at the roses and he smiles. They're pretty...He studies them for a little while before he turns to look at Daeshim again. He blinks a little at the sudden question.
Lennon leans to press his lips softly to Daeshim's in a quick kiss.
"I'd like that, a lot," Lennon says sincerely. He cups his cheek gently, hand slowly caressing back into the other's messy hair as he kisses him again.
He hates to interrupt a kiss, but he needs to clear up the misunderstanding. It feels good to just relax after...everything. When Daeshim closes his eyes and just focuses on the feeling of Lennon's lips and fingers, puckering up for the next one. Everything feels less...urgent now. Less intense.
Lennon blinks at the other's comment. He tilts his head as the kisses linger lightly without deepening.
"What do you mean?" he asks, he doesn't really understand Daeshim's magic that much. He's come to accept it but ..understanding it is still out of his reach it feels like.
Daeshim opens his eyes again to look into Lennon's. He knows that there is still a lot about him that he doesn't understand, but he really does appreciate his efforts - and especially his patience.
"They are manifestations of how I feel. Pretty for pretty, ugly for ugly. If you're not around, I feel nothing. It's impossible to make them bloom."
For decades, centuries the Ruinwood was also barren.
Lennon tilts his head and studies him as he gives the explanation before looking back at the thorns and the roses. He exhales softly, a little shakily.
"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
"You are worthy." Daeshim's voice is quiet, almost solemn. He's learned that simply saying things doesn't automatically make another believe them, no matter how true they are. But what Lennon shares make him infinitely sad, just thinking about how he felt that way for so long before he came here. Before he met him. He would curse anyone who deliberately made him feel that way, three times or seven or nine. His brows draw together, and when he speaks again it's with more force.
"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
Lennon doesn't always feel worthy but he is starting to feel more so, and at least believe that he is in Daeshim's eyes and that itself means so much to him. He smiles at the squeeze to his hand and closes his eyes as he takes in a steadying breath. It's hard for him to express all these things all at once and it's overwhelming to have Daeshim's support.
Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
"I want to sleep beside you, and wake up beside you."
Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
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And he needed Lennon too. It was a fair deal that existed between them, each belonging to the other. He thinks about this when he wakes and sees the human still sleeping. Daeshim brushes his hair back from his face, and tries to ignore the bruises and scratches on his body, knowing that he's the one who put them there.
He forgets about the vines when he goes to the kitchen, not realizing that they're as protective as they are, and likely still under their own influence from this spell. They only retreat to allow Daeshim back into the room, tray in hand. He blinks when he sees him on the floor.
"You're awake."
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"Where were you? Who were you with...?" Lennon asks, his fingers curling into the blanket.
He tries to remember what else he knew is important... what had he been trying to leave for...
"Baein... has he eaten?" Lennon asks. How long has he been in this room with just Daeshim, filled with need and desire and pain whenever Daeshim isn't close.
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"...I didn't see him." The strangeness of this all really hits him when he admits that. "Oh! Hunter was here!"
That's good...right? Surely he'd helped.
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"Why was Hunter here..." Lennon frowns, he likes Hunter but...he doesn't like the idea of Daeshim and Hunter...
Seriously, what's wrong with him?
"I ... wanted to make sure Baein was okay but I couldn't leave the room to go check. And you weren't here. Did you leave me to go with Hunter? You didn't give him any hot chocolate, right?"
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"I would never make anyone else hot chocolate!"
They have a deal, and Daeshim must always honor his deals. But he seems less sure about the rest of it. Why was Hunter here?
"He needed to come in." He remembers that much. "He doesn't think he's one of us, so I nutted him."
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"Good," he mumbles, and he knows that the other would never but there's something very irrational about his thought processes. And he knows it but he can't fix it.
"You're not his, you're mine," Lennon says quietly, nuzzling Daeshim's shoulder. "I'm yours."
Lennon frowns. "Why can't I leave?"
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Daeshim likes the weight of Lennon's head on his shoulder, likes the way that they're pressed together side by side. It's true every day, so he doesn't notice any strangeness to his thoughts, or the way he wants to puff up when Lennon says that he's his. (Honestly, even that isn't so strange.)
It's only when the other points out that he's locked in this room that Daeshim looks at his vines, which are rough and thorny in a way that they normally aren't. He studies them while sipping his tea and thinking on the answer.
"I had to keep you, and protect you. No one else is allowed to touch you."
Daeshim knows that he's taking it a bit too far, but right now he doesn't care. It feels natural.
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It's so easy to just take him at his word, to make a low sound at his answer. He presses closer as he puts the hot chocolate aside and hugs his arms around the other, wrapping his legs around him too -- just sort of koalaing to his side there.
"I'm yours. I just want you."
His brow furrows.
"But... Baein... if he's hungry... Check on him... and if he's hungry... you have to let him touch me long enough to drink."
It takes effort to put up any resistence to the words Daeshim had laid out. He doesn't want anyone else to touch him but Daeshim.
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The vines crumble as Daeshim turns his head to press a kiss against his cheek.
"We can't let Bae go hungry."
Just because Lennon is his doesn't mean that he's willing to let the others suffer.
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"Mhm," Lennon agrees and his skin is warm where the other kissed. "But I only need you," he says softly.
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He places his own tea aside before sliding down and rolling on his side to face his human. He takes Lennon's hand while looking into his eyes, because if he looks any lower he knows he'll be distracted.
"I feel very strange. Stranger still because..." Daeshim swallows hard, struggling with his words. "Because I can't say that I hate it."
Lennon saying these things over and over again, Daeshim keeping him all to himself. He doesn't hate it.
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“No, no…” Lennon argued softly. He presses his face against the others neck, nuzzling it and layering kisses over tender skin.
Lennon loosens his grip and moves his head only to allow the other to shift. He doesn’t release him though. His eyes glance at the hand Daeshim had taken and then back up to meet his gaze.
“I do too,” Lennon admits, swallowing as he leans pressing their foreheads together for a moment.
“But every part of you is mine and it’s okay.” Even the side that traps him and is rough with him. It scares him how little he’s bothered by the first thing.
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"...I would've brought you to a much prettier place in the Ruinwood. Somewhere with flowers, and a stream."
He can at least manage the first one for him. The vines suddenly have roses to go along with their thorns.
"Have you ever done it outside? In just the sunlight?"
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"No," he answers.
Not in the sunlight no.
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He sighs wistfully. He thinks Lennon would be beautiful in the daylight. The moonlight too for that matter. He would glow for sure.
"I would make a bed of flowers just for you."
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"I'd like that, a lot," Lennon says sincerely. He cups his cheek gently, hand slowly caressing back into the other's messy hair as he kisses him again.
"I love your flowers."
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He hates to interrupt a kiss, but he needs to clear up the misunderstanding. It feels good to just relax after...everything. When Daeshim closes his eyes and just focuses on the feeling of Lennon's lips and fingers, puckering up for the next one. Everything feels less...urgent now. Less intense.
"I couldn't make them without you."
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"What do you mean?" he asks, he doesn't really understand Daeshim's magic that much. He's come to accept it but ..understanding it is still out of his reach it feels like.
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"They are manifestations of how I feel. Pretty for pretty, ugly for ugly. If you're not around, I feel nothing. It's impossible to make them bloom."
For decades, centuries the Ruinwood was also barren.
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"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
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"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
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Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
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Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
"We can get a bigger bed if needs be."
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"I like... having a room that's ours."
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"You didn't want me to move in with you at first! I remember!"
Maybe because Daeshim just decided to do it on his own.
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