“No, no…” Lennon argued softly. He presses his face against the others
neck, nuzzling it and layering kisses over tender skin.
Lennon loosens his grip and moves his head only to allow the other to
shift. He doesn’t release him though. His eyes glance at the hand Daeshim
had taken and then back up to meet his gaze.
“I do too,” Lennon admits, swallowing as he leans pressing their foreheads
together for a moment.
“But every part of you is mine and it’s okay.” Even the side that traps him
and is rough with him. It scares him how little he’s bothered by the first
thing.
Probably not as much as it scares Dae. But he can't control the way it makes him feel to be claimed too, and he wouldn't even if he could. So he lets himself be soothed by Lennon's affection, and the kisses that make him shiver despite the warmth in the room.
"...I would've brought you to a much prettier place in the Ruinwood. Somewhere with flowers, and a stream."
He can at least manage the first one for him. The vines suddenly have roses to go along with their thorns.
"Have you ever done it outside? In just the sunlight?"
Lennon tilts his head and he looks at the roses and he smiles. They're pretty...He studies them for a little while before he turns to look at Daeshim again. He blinks a little at the sudden question.
Lennon leans to press his lips softly to Daeshim's in a quick kiss.
"I'd like that, a lot," Lennon says sincerely. He cups his cheek gently, hand slowly caressing back into the other's messy hair as he kisses him again.
He hates to interrupt a kiss, but he needs to clear up the misunderstanding. It feels good to just relax after...everything. When Daeshim closes his eyes and just focuses on the feeling of Lennon's lips and fingers, puckering up for the next one. Everything feels less...urgent now. Less intense.
Lennon blinks at the other's comment. He tilts his head as the kisses linger lightly without deepening.
"What do you mean?" he asks, he doesn't really understand Daeshim's magic that much. He's come to accept it but ..understanding it is still out of his reach it feels like.
Daeshim opens his eyes again to look into Lennon's. He knows that there is still a lot about him that he doesn't understand, but he really does appreciate his efforts - and especially his patience.
"They are manifestations of how I feel. Pretty for pretty, ugly for ugly. If you're not around, I feel nothing. It's impossible to make them bloom."
For decades, centuries the Ruinwood was also barren.
Lennon tilts his head and studies him as he gives the explanation before looking back at the thorns and the roses. He exhales softly, a little shakily.
"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
"You are worthy." Daeshim's voice is quiet, almost solemn. He's learned that simply saying things doesn't automatically make another believe them, no matter how true they are. But what Lennon shares make him infinitely sad, just thinking about how he felt that way for so long before he came here. Before he met him. He would curse anyone who deliberately made him feel that way, three times or seven or nine. His brows draw together, and when he speaks again it's with more force.
"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
Lennon doesn't always feel worthy but he is starting to feel more so, and at least believe that he is in Daeshim's eyes and that itself means so much to him. He smiles at the squeeze to his hand and closes his eyes as he takes in a steadying breath. It's hard for him to express all these things all at once and it's overwhelming to have Daeshim's support.
Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
"I want to sleep beside you, and wake up beside you."
Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
Lennon rolls his eyes and he's about to say something snarky when the other's hand moved to his tail. He sucks in a breath, trying to shift away, his tail flicking more.
It's not strange, right? He already knows how Dae feels about his non-human additions. The ears and the tail and the little fangs are all fine with him. He even likes them.
So if he's playing with Lennon's tail and stroking it a certain way that the other just happens to like, it's just a coincidence.
It's like a game now, and Daeshim even smiles as he chases after it.
"Why are you pretending that you don't like it!" He says it confidently, not a question. He knows. "Is there anything you need to hide from me? After I've seen and touched and tasted so much of you?"
Lennon whines softly as the other goes after the tail, and he shivers. He looks at him, the tail flicking. He knows there's no hiding now that the other had actually had a hold of him when the fucked earlier... when Daeshim so thoroughly claimed him, really.
"It's embarrassing, Dae," he can't help it. He still has trouble accepting the changes to his body that he couldn't control but he also can't deny how good them being touched feels and it's not always sexual but... he can hardly be blamed that he's getting a little turned on with the game they play.
He rolls onto his back trying to trap his tail beneath his body so the other can't keep hold of it.
He's still giggling, but at least he gives up when the other rolls completely on his back.
"You are adorable." Being embarrassed over what Dae sees as such a simple thing. The Fae rests his check against his pillow and just smiles at him. "I will never let you forget it, either."
Lennon can't help smiling as he looks at the other and eventually he rolls onto his side and drapes one leg over him and crosses his arms on Daeshim's chest, chin resting on top of them as he looks at him.
Daeshim has a hard time believing that. He knows what he'd see if there was a mirror right in front of his face: a grumpy looking face, a rabbit's teeth, hair that goes this way and that. No one would ever want to watch him the way they watched Lennon. No one would ever pay to see him dance.
"Every way," Lennon says softly, tilting his head as he looks at the other. "You're perfect in every way for me. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, your laugh, the way your hair is always messy and how you laugh at weird times."
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“No, no…” Lennon argued softly. He presses his face against the others neck, nuzzling it and layering kisses over tender skin.
Lennon loosens his grip and moves his head only to allow the other to shift. He doesn’t release him though. His eyes glance at the hand Daeshim had taken and then back up to meet his gaze.
“I do too,” Lennon admits, swallowing as he leans pressing their foreheads together for a moment.
“But every part of you is mine and it’s okay.” Even the side that traps him and is rough with him. It scares him how little he’s bothered by the first thing.
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"...I would've brought you to a much prettier place in the Ruinwood. Somewhere with flowers, and a stream."
He can at least manage the first one for him. The vines suddenly have roses to go along with their thorns.
"Have you ever done it outside? In just the sunlight?"
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"No," he answers.
Not in the sunlight no.
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He sighs wistfully. He thinks Lennon would be beautiful in the daylight. The moonlight too for that matter. He would glow for sure.
"I would make a bed of flowers just for you."
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"I'd like that, a lot," Lennon says sincerely. He cups his cheek gently, hand slowly caressing back into the other's messy hair as he kisses him again.
"I love your flowers."
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He hates to interrupt a kiss, but he needs to clear up the misunderstanding. It feels good to just relax after...everything. When Daeshim closes his eyes and just focuses on the feeling of Lennon's lips and fingers, puckering up for the next one. Everything feels less...urgent now. Less intense.
"I couldn't make them without you."
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"What do you mean?" he asks, he doesn't really understand Daeshim's magic that much. He's come to accept it but ..understanding it is still out of his reach it feels like.
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"They are manifestations of how I feel. Pretty for pretty, ugly for ugly. If you're not around, I feel nothing. It's impossible to make them bloom."
For decades, centuries the Ruinwood was also barren.
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"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
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"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
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Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
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Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
"We can get a bigger bed if needs be."
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"I like... having a room that's ours."
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"You didn't want me to move in with you at first! I remember!"
Maybe because Daeshim just decided to do it on his own.
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That's his story and he's sticking to it. Daeshim smiles to himself, sliding his hand slowly down the other's tail. He knows now. He knows.
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"Dae..."
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It's not strange, right? He already knows how Dae feels about his non-human additions. The ears and the tail and the little fangs are all fine with him. He even likes them.
So if he's playing with Lennon's tail and stroking it a certain way that the other just happens to like, it's just a coincidence.
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Wiggling he tries to roll over so his tail slips from the other's grip -- at least that's his plan.
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"Why are you pretending that you don't like it!" He says it confidently, not a question. He knows. "Is there anything you need to hide from me? After I've seen and touched and tasted so much of you?"
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"It's embarrassing, Dae," he can't help it. He still has trouble accepting the changes to his body that he couldn't control but he also can't deny how good them being touched feels and it's not always sexual but... he can hardly be blamed that he's getting a little turned on with the game they play.
He rolls onto his back trying to trap his tail beneath his body so the other can't keep hold of it.
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"You are adorable." Being embarrassed over what Dae sees as such a simple thing. The Fae rests his check against his pillow and just smiles at him. "I will never let you forget it, either."
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"You're...way more adorable than me."
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Daeshim has a hard time believing that. He knows what he'd see if there was a mirror right in front of his face: a grumpy looking face, a rabbit's teeth, hair that goes this way and that. No one would ever want to watch him the way they watched Lennon. No one would ever pay to see him dance.
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