Lennon tilts his head and studies him as he gives the explanation before looking back at the thorns and the roses. He exhales softly, a little shakily.
"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
"You are worthy." Daeshim's voice is quiet, almost solemn. He's learned that simply saying things doesn't automatically make another believe them, no matter how true they are. But what Lennon shares make him infinitely sad, just thinking about how he felt that way for so long before he came here. Before he met him. He would curse anyone who deliberately made him feel that way, three times or seven or nine. His brows draw together, and when he speaks again it's with more force.
"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
Lennon doesn't always feel worthy but he is starting to feel more so, and at least believe that he is in Daeshim's eyes and that itself means so much to him. He smiles at the squeeze to his hand and closes his eyes as he takes in a steadying breath. It's hard for him to express all these things all at once and it's overwhelming to have Daeshim's support.
Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
"I want to sleep beside you, and wake up beside you."
Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
Lennon rolls his eyes and he's about to say something snarky when the other's hand moved to his tail. He sucks in a breath, trying to shift away, his tail flicking more.
It's not strange, right? He already knows how Dae feels about his non-human additions. The ears and the tail and the little fangs are all fine with him. He even likes them.
So if he's playing with Lennon's tail and stroking it a certain way that the other just happens to like, it's just a coincidence.
It's like a game now, and Daeshim even smiles as he chases after it.
"Why are you pretending that you don't like it!" He says it confidently, not a question. He knows. "Is there anything you need to hide from me? After I've seen and touched and tasted so much of you?"
Lennon whines softly as the other goes after the tail, and he shivers. He looks at him, the tail flicking. He knows there's no hiding now that the other had actually had a hold of him when the fucked earlier... when Daeshim so thoroughly claimed him, really.
"It's embarrassing, Dae," he can't help it. He still has trouble accepting the changes to his body that he couldn't control but he also can't deny how good them being touched feels and it's not always sexual but... he can hardly be blamed that he's getting a little turned on with the game they play.
He rolls onto his back trying to trap his tail beneath his body so the other can't keep hold of it.
He's still giggling, but at least he gives up when the other rolls completely on his back.
"You are adorable." Being embarrassed over what Dae sees as such a simple thing. The Fae rests his check against his pillow and just smiles at him. "I will never let you forget it, either."
Lennon can't help smiling as he looks at the other and eventually he rolls onto his side and drapes one leg over him and crosses his arms on Daeshim's chest, chin resting on top of them as he looks at him.
Daeshim has a hard time believing that. He knows what he'd see if there was a mirror right in front of his face: a grumpy looking face, a rabbit's teeth, hair that goes this way and that. No one would ever want to watch him the way they watched Lennon. No one would ever pay to see him dance.
"Every way," Lennon says softly, tilting his head as he looks at the other. "You're perfect in every way for me. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, your laugh, the way your hair is always messy and how you laugh at weird times."
Oh. Daeshim looks away, because it's suddenly a little harder to maintain this eye contact. His entire face feels hot, and he actually lifts a hand to his face like he can rub the heat away. A part of him wants to hide under the covers, though Daeshim doesn't understand why.
There's a huge part of Lennon that's eager to submit currently but there's something about this moment... He leans in, pulling the other's hand away from his face and pressing it to the bed. He rolls over him, leg nudging between the other's thigh as he kisses over his face, his cheeks, his nose.
"I can't even begin to count the ways," he murmurs, nipping at the other's lip.
There'd be more resistance against anyone else. But Lennon is his mate, and this is part of what that means. He's allowed what others aren't.
And maybe he can also sense that this is what Daeshim needs at that moment, something he hadn't even realized himself. Not until he rolled him over and started kissing him, drawing soft sounds from the fae with every touch of his lips.
"Okay..." Lennon knows how he is, that he's more enthusiastic about the idea than his simple response and soft voice would lead most to believe. The truth is in his eyes, which are dark and fixed on the other's face. It's in the slight trembling of his body, and the way he physically arches towards him. "You can do it, any way you want to."
Lennon smiles and feels something unclench in his chest. Maybe Daeshim needs this but something in Lennon needs it too. he presses his thigh against the other's groin, grinding against him lightly as he kisses him again. He can see the other wants him.
He reaches for the lube. Lennon might be stretched out and messy but Daeshim isn't. He feels impatient as he coats his fingers, letting it warm a little before his hand slips between the other's legs, shifting his own thigh out of the way to do so. He rubs the pad of his thumb against the entrance.
"I'm yours," Lennon whispers softly, waiting until it seems like the other's entrance was more pliant, letting the tip of his thumb slip inside before he pulled it back and slid his middle finger in instead. His tail is flicking behind him and he can almost ignore it as he focuses on stretching the other.
Daeshim isn't loud, but every sound that he makes is honest, whimpers and soft moans breaking free as Lennon's thigh grinds against him. He grinds back, but not too eagerly. He's letting Lennon lead them and dictate the pace. He just slides his free hand along his body, down his side and to his hip.
He lifts his hips for him, saying his name quietly as he watches his human's face. He's focused but eager, Daeshim can see it in his expression and the movement of his tail, and it brings out one of those oddly timed laughs that he says he loves.
"I'm also yours. It's a fair deal." Daeshim barely gets the words out before he moans and tightens around his finger. He'd almost forgotten how good it feels to have something inside him, but Lennon will surely remind him well. "Is it easier if I - mm - roll over?"
The fact that Daeshim is moving with him, gives him permission to do all of this. He's not being rebellious, he's still submitting to him in a way. The pain from the heat is quelled by their closeness. One of his sable ears twitch at the laugh, looking confused and he does love those random laughs but they do make him wander, sometimes worry him.
"What's funny?"
Lennon murmured it as his finger is encased in the tight heat of the other's body and he moans softly. He's only used a toy on Daeshim before...and his fingers...
"Is that what you want?" Lennon asks, rocking his finger inside of the other and he wants to press a second finger in but he doesn't want to rush Daeshim either. He wants to make him feel good, appreciated.
"You seem to be taking this very seriously." And that's a little funny to him. Lennon has always been pretty relaxed when it comes to sex, but right now he's like a man on a mission. Daeshim sighs, eyelids growing heavier as he looks at his face.
"I...don't really know what I want."
The answer finally comes after enough thought that Lennon might've assumed that he wasn't going to. Daeshim's a little embarrassed by it, but arousal is just as responsible for bringing the color to the surface of his skin. He moans and shifts his hips, looser around the human's finger and already wanting more.
"I haven't done this very much. But I know you'll feel good no matter what." Just being with him like this, in their own little world, creating their own secrets...it feels amazing. That's more than enough to make Daeshim want more of him. He asks for it in a whimper. "More...."
Lennon hasn't topped very often. It's usually not what people want from him and honestly, it's usually not what he tends to want either. Sometimes, it's right, though. Right now, it felt... right. He knows he wants it and he knows Daeshim wants it but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have a little performance anxiety. He doesn't really want to admit it so for a moment he stays quiet, letting Daeshime answer and tilting his head, watching him carefully.
He's... so perfect.
There's a moment when Lennon can sense that the other is ready for more, wants moreand then it's confirmed by the soft words. He gently presses in a second finger, working him open with a scissoring motion, his thumb tracing the other's rim as his fingers work into him.
"I don't do this a lot either," Lennon admits, his ears laying a bit flat for a brief moment and he really wishes he had better control of those things and that infernal tail. "And I just.. want you to feel good." Lennon cares about sex when it comes to Daeshim. It's not just something to do. Especially not something like this. It matters. So it matters that it's good, that he does good enough.
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"When I'm with you, I feel..." he closes his eyes, searching for the words. "I haven't felt good things for a long time. I feel like... maybe I'm worthy and that I can be good enough. And I've never been good enough for anyone before," he says quietly.
He decides...someday he will eventually show Daeshim his art but only when he's able to put onto canvas how he feels when he's with him.
"You're the one I always want to fall asleep with and wake up by."
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"You are good enough for me! And you always will be!"
The Fae grips his hand, squeezing it as if to underscore his words. He means it. No matter how much they say it, he will always mean it: Lennon is his, and he is Lennon's.
"If that's what you want, then it is where I will be."
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Lennon hopes it can be true. That he'll always be good enough. He holds tight to the other's hand still, nuzzling at him.
"It's what I want if it's what you want... I know... you might want to sometimes sleep by and wake up by them..."
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Daeshim can say that for certain. As for what Lennon says after...well, he's crawled into beds before uninvited, but he doesn't feel like he can do that anymore. Lennon isn't the only one who has thoughts of not being...enough.
"We can get a bigger bed if needs be."
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"I like... having a room that's ours."
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"You didn't want me to move in with you at first! I remember!"
Maybe because Daeshim just decided to do it on his own.
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That's his story and he's sticking to it. Daeshim smiles to himself, sliding his hand slowly down the other's tail. He knows now. He knows.
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"Dae..."
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It's not strange, right? He already knows how Dae feels about his non-human additions. The ears and the tail and the little fangs are all fine with him. He even likes them.
So if he's playing with Lennon's tail and stroking it a certain way that the other just happens to like, it's just a coincidence.
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Wiggling he tries to roll over so his tail slips from the other's grip -- at least that's his plan.
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"Why are you pretending that you don't like it!" He says it confidently, not a question. He knows. "Is there anything you need to hide from me? After I've seen and touched and tasted so much of you?"
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"It's embarrassing, Dae," he can't help it. He still has trouble accepting the changes to his body that he couldn't control but he also can't deny how good them being touched feels and it's not always sexual but... he can hardly be blamed that he's getting a little turned on with the game they play.
He rolls onto his back trying to trap his tail beneath his body so the other can't keep hold of it.
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"You are adorable." Being embarrassed over what Dae sees as such a simple thing. The Fae rests his check against his pillow and just smiles at him. "I will never let you forget it, either."
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"You're...way more adorable than me."
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Daeshim has a hard time believing that. He knows what he'd see if there was a mirror right in front of his face: a grumpy looking face, a rabbit's teeth, hair that goes this way and that. No one would ever want to watch him the way they watched Lennon. No one would ever pay to see him dance.
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"That...that is a lot of ways."
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"I can't even begin to count the ways," he murmurs, nipping at the other's lip.
"Can I fuck you?" he says quietly. "Please?"
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And maybe he can also sense that this is what Daeshim needs at that moment, something he hadn't even realized himself. Not until he rolled him over and started kissing him, drawing soft sounds from the fae with every touch of his lips.
"Okay..." Lennon knows how he is, that he's more enthusiastic about the idea than his simple response and soft voice would lead most to believe. The truth is in his eyes, which are dark and fixed on the other's face. It's in the slight trembling of his body, and the way he physically arches towards him. "You can do it, any way you want to."
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He reaches for the lube. Lennon might be stretched out and messy but Daeshim isn't. He feels impatient as he coats his fingers, letting it warm a little before his hand slips between the other's legs, shifting his own thigh out of the way to do so. He rubs the pad of his thumb against the entrance.
"I'm yours," Lennon whispers softly, waiting until it seems like the other's entrance was more pliant, letting the tip of his thumb slip inside before he pulled it back and slid his middle finger in instead. His tail is flicking behind him and he can almost ignore it as he focuses on stretching the other.
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He lifts his hips for him, saying his name quietly as he watches his human's face. He's focused but eager, Daeshim can see it in his expression and the movement of his tail, and it brings out one of those oddly timed laughs that he says he loves.
"I'm also yours. It's a fair deal." Daeshim barely gets the words out before he moans and tightens around his finger. He'd almost forgotten how good it feels to have something inside him, but Lennon will surely remind him well. "Is it easier if I - mm - roll over?"
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"What's funny?"
Lennon murmured it as his finger is encased in the tight heat of the other's body and he moans softly. He's only used a toy on Daeshim before...and his fingers...
"Is that what you want?" Lennon asks, rocking his finger inside of the other and he wants to press a second finger in but he doesn't want to rush Daeshim either. He wants to make him feel good, appreciated.
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"I...don't really know what I want."
The answer finally comes after enough thought that Lennon might've assumed that he wasn't going to. Daeshim's a little embarrassed by it, but arousal is just as responsible for bringing the color to the surface of his skin. He moans and shifts his hips, looser around the human's finger and already wanting more.
"I haven't done this very much. But I know you'll feel good no matter what." Just being with him like this, in their own little world, creating their own secrets...it feels amazing. That's more than enough to make Daeshim want more of him. He asks for it in a whimper. "More...."
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He's... so perfect.
There's a moment when Lennon can sense that the other is ready for more, wants moreand then it's confirmed by the soft words. He gently presses in a second finger, working him open with a scissoring motion, his thumb tracing the other's rim as his fingers work into him.
"I don't do this a lot either," Lennon admits, his ears laying a bit flat for a brief moment and he really wishes he had better control of those things and that infernal tail. "And I just.. want you to feel good." Lennon cares about sex when it comes to Daeshim. It's not just something to do. Especially not something like this. It matters. So it matters that it's good, that he does good enough.
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