[ Lennon swallows heavily and he quickly goes through all the bargains he can think of. ]
I just... I only asked you because I'm trying to make everyone happy and now I'm making you unhappy.
[ Lennon chews on his bottom lip a bit too roughly with his fangs but he doesn't care and it's helping keep his mind clear enough to make a decision. There's a lot of their bargains that are far too important to him to adjust in any way. ]
The one where I spend Fridays with you... What if Saturdays are also yours?
[ It's not just another day but it's his most lucrative day at work that he's offering. ]
if you keep it up, i will have you every day of the week. [and then what good will any of this do?] besides, you make your most money on that day. you cannot.
[ Lennon's too stubborn. He glares at the phone a bit angry with himself for getting them into this situation. He starts to offer his art room but he stops, knowing that wouldn't go over well most likely. ]
There has to be something.
[ he chews on his bottom lip all the more. ]
What if when I'm topping, I can only come inside of you but not inside anyone else?
[hmm. well he does enjoy the pine apple too. so he goes for bread, adding a thin layer of butter, some fruit, and even some hot chocolate, all placed on a tray. lennon didn't ask for it, it's just automatic at this point.]
[ Lennon is curled up under the blanket with the device in hand when Daeshim comes in but he tosses it aside the moment he sees him. He knows his lip probably looks a bit awful but he'd checked it to make sure it wasn't bleeding before asking Daeshim to come to bed. He smells the hot chocolate before he sees it and sits up slowly, his tail flicking when it gets free from the covers. ]
[daeshim pauses, blinking once before he answers.]
A small one. To make sure it was not too hot!
[his slice of bread is so thick that he has to pick it up with both hands. he takes a bite and the whole thing melts like butter on his tongue - as to be expected of jasper's baking.]
[ Lennon smiles and takes a sip himself, watching the other take the bite of his bread. He then focuses on his hot chocolate, making a soft noise of appreciation. ]
[it's all he can say, his mouth too full with the second bite. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it still hurts, feeling like he was chosen and then unchosen, special and then not. but it's something that he will deal with and overcome on his own. by the time he swallows again, he's noticed something to change the subject with.]
What happened to your lips?
[daeshim puts his bread down, scooting onto his knees for a better loook at them.]
[he inspects them closely, frowning at the tiny pinpricks and chewed raw places along lennon's mouth.]
Your teeth are so sharp. You must be more careful.
[he should clean them. daeshim moves off the bed so that he can get a wet washcloth from the bathroom. by the time he returns and starts dabbing the soft cloth against the small wounds, he still hasn't commented on most of what the other said. and he knows it's been noticed.]
[ Lennon wants to protest when the other gets up. He'd taken care of them, he'd had to make sure there wasn't any blood. He doesn't protest, allowing Daeshim to take care of him instead, waiting for his response. He knows Daeshim would rather not talk about any of it probably but Lennon didn't want to bury his feelings and pretend he was okay. ]
I should have realized I was going to upset you. I should have just asked you for help.
[he's thorough but gentle as he wipes them clean, focusing more along the bottom lip where the most damage is. maybe lennon should've done those things. it's hard for daeshim to say when he's also done things without thinking, things that hurt the other.]
Deals between us should not be so easily broken.
[he says the words quietly, lifting his eyes to lennon's.]
It means that they all can be, until there's nothing left.
[ Lennon shakes his head, forcing himself to meet the other's eyes even though he finds it difficult at the moment. ]
I wish you had told me no.
[ Lennon murmurs, finally lowering his gaze. He hesitates and sets his hot chocolate aside in favor of curling into Daeshim whether the other is done with his lips or not. He wraps his arms tightly around him. ]
I'm still learning to understand the ways of the fae. But I can promise you that I'll always be yours and you'll always be mine. Nothing is going to change that.
[releasing him from the bargain doesn't mean that he has to do anything, only that he's free to do it. daeshim doesn't dare think that things will remain the same. he lifts his hand up into lennon's hair.]
Mm. Because that one is my deal. No one else can undo it.
[he smiles a little. it was true even when the human resisted it.]
I don't have to top anyone else. It can just be you, I want it to just be you. You can help me satisfy Hunter. I don't need the bargain to be able to do this.
[ Lennon says softly, He hadn't really wanted to be released from the bargain at least not like this...not at the expense of Daeshim... he'd just been trying to make everyone happy. ]
I wouldn't undo it if I could but I will not let you out of any of our other bargains.
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I just... I only asked you because I'm trying to make everyone happy and now I'm making you unhappy.
[ Lennon chews on his bottom lip a bit too roughly with his fangs but he doesn't care and it's helping keep his mind clear enough to make a decision. There's a lot of their bargains that are far too important to him to adjust in any way. ]
The one where I spend Fridays with you... What if Saturdays are also yours?
[ It's not just another day but it's his most lucrative day at work that he's offering. ]
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what if you could never top me again?
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Wouldn't you be disappointed with that? And... if I can't fuck you then how can we have our baby?
[ Because it still counts with a girl's body to him. ]
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[he could change it to 'only in this body', but he's not sure that would make it any more agreeable. he sighs.]
just let me lose. it is the best way.
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There has to be something.
[ he chews on his bottom lip all the more. ]
What if when I'm topping, I can only come inside of you but not inside anyone else?
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we have a deal, you and i.
[and an end to it.]
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Can you come to bed?
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How did you know I wanted hot chocolate too?
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[he places the tray on the bed, carefully handing lennon the cup first before he crawls in on his side.]
I used the last of the mint. I will grow and harvest more tomorrow.
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[ Lennon asks and maybe he's feeling a little unsteady after their conversation. But he nods at the mention of Dae growing more mint. ]
I'm sorry... about everything.
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A small one. To make sure it was not too hot!
[his slice of bread is so thick that he has to pick it up with both hands. he takes a bite and the whole thing melts like butter on his tongue - as to be expected of jasper's baking.]
It's done now. That's all that matters.
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I won't do something like that again.
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[it's all he can say, his mouth too full with the second bite. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it still hurts, feeling like he was chosen and then unchosen, special and then not. but it's something that he will deal with and overcome on his own. by the time he swallows again, he's noticed something to change the subject with.]
What happened to your lips?
[daeshim puts his bread down, scooting onto his knees for a better loook at them.]
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I was anxious. So I was biting them.
[ Lennon says quietly. ]
I just wanted to make everyone happy and not... unsatisfied and disappointed.
[ The words spill out because Lennon's having a hard time letting go of the fact he'd messed up like this. ]
But you're the most important and I...messed up and so I was anxious.
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Your teeth are so sharp. You must be more careful.
[he should clean them. daeshim moves off the bed so that he can get a wet washcloth from the bathroom. by the time he returns and starts dabbing the soft cloth against the small wounds, he still hasn't commented on most of what the other said. and he knows it's been noticed.]
You...cannot make everyone happy. Sometimes.
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I should have realized I was going to upset you. I should have just asked you for help.
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Deals between us should not be so easily broken.
[he says the words quietly, lifting his eyes to lennon's.]
It means that they all can be, until there's nothing left.
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I wish you had told me no.
[ Lennon murmurs, finally lowering his gaze. He hesitates and sets his hot chocolate aside in favor of curling into Daeshim whether the other is done with his lips or not. He wraps his arms tightly around him. ]
I'm still learning to understand the ways of the fae. But I can promise you that I'll always be yours and you'll always be mine. Nothing is going to change that.
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[releasing him from the bargain doesn't mean that he has to do anything, only that he's free to do it. daeshim doesn't dare think that things will remain the same. he lifts his hand up into lennon's hair.]
Mm. Because that one is my deal. No one else can undo it.
[he smiles a little. it was true even when the human resisted it.]
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[ Lennon says softly, He hadn't really wanted to be released from the bargain at least not like this...not at the expense of Daeshim... he'd just been trying to make everyone happy. ]
I wouldn't undo it if I could but I will not let you out of any of our other bargains.
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