[hmm. well he does enjoy the pine apple too. so he goes for bread, adding a thin layer of butter, some fruit, and even some hot chocolate, all placed on a tray. lennon didn't ask for it, it's just automatic at this point.]
[ Lennon is curled up under the blanket with the device in hand when Daeshim comes in but he tosses it aside the moment he sees him. He knows his lip probably looks a bit awful but he'd checked it to make sure it wasn't bleeding before asking Daeshim to come to bed. He smells the hot chocolate before he sees it and sits up slowly, his tail flicking when it gets free from the covers. ]
[daeshim pauses, blinking once before he answers.]
A small one. To make sure it was not too hot!
[his slice of bread is so thick that he has to pick it up with both hands. he takes a bite and the whole thing melts like butter on his tongue - as to be expected of jasper's baking.]
[ Lennon smiles and takes a sip himself, watching the other take the bite of his bread. He then focuses on his hot chocolate, making a soft noise of appreciation. ]
[it's all he can say, his mouth too full with the second bite. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it still hurts, feeling like he was chosen and then unchosen, special and then not. but it's something that he will deal with and overcome on his own. by the time he swallows again, he's noticed something to change the subject with.]
What happened to your lips?
[daeshim puts his bread down, scooting onto his knees for a better loook at them.]
[he inspects them closely, frowning at the tiny pinpricks and chewed raw places along lennon's mouth.]
Your teeth are so sharp. You must be more careful.
[he should clean them. daeshim moves off the bed so that he can get a wet washcloth from the bathroom. by the time he returns and starts dabbing the soft cloth against the small wounds, he still hasn't commented on most of what the other said. and he knows it's been noticed.]
[ Lennon wants to protest when the other gets up. He'd taken care of them, he'd had to make sure there wasn't any blood. He doesn't protest, allowing Daeshim to take care of him instead, waiting for his response. He knows Daeshim would rather not talk about any of it probably but Lennon didn't want to bury his feelings and pretend he was okay. ]
I should have realized I was going to upset you. I should have just asked you for help.
[he's thorough but gentle as he wipes them clean, focusing more along the bottom lip where the most damage is. maybe lennon should've done those things. it's hard for daeshim to say when he's also done things without thinking, things that hurt the other.]
Deals between us should not be so easily broken.
[he says the words quietly, lifting his eyes to lennon's.]
It means that they all can be, until there's nothing left.
[ Lennon shakes his head, forcing himself to meet the other's eyes even though he finds it difficult at the moment. ]
I wish you had told me no.
[ Lennon murmurs, finally lowering his gaze. He hesitates and sets his hot chocolate aside in favor of curling into Daeshim whether the other is done with his lips or not. He wraps his arms tightly around him. ]
I'm still learning to understand the ways of the fae. But I can promise you that I'll always be yours and you'll always be mine. Nothing is going to change that.
[releasing him from the bargain doesn't mean that he has to do anything, only that he's free to do it. daeshim doesn't dare think that things will remain the same. he lifts his hand up into lennon's hair.]
Mm. Because that one is my deal. No one else can undo it.
[he smiles a little. it was true even when the human resisted it.]
I don't have to top anyone else. It can just be you, I want it to just be you. You can help me satisfy Hunter. I don't need the bargain to be able to do this.
[ Lennon says softly, He hadn't really wanted to be released from the bargain at least not like this...not at the expense of Daeshim... he'd just been trying to make everyone happy. ]
I wouldn't undo it if I could but I will not let you out of any of our other bargains.
[daeshim frowns at that. it's another thing that he doesn't want to think about. he hasn't seemed unhappy to him, but he knows that others are closer to him than he is.]
I also do not need them. I would choose to abide by the terms just the same.
[there's a point here, there's a point here....and it zooms right over daeshim's head.]
[ Lennon nuzzles the other's jaw and he exhales and he's pretty sure he can hear Baein's voice in his head saying not to assume his feelings but it's in reference to Hunter. He very nearly bites his lip again but instead he nips at Daeshim's jaw to quell the urge and still manage the nervous tic. ]
Mm... He... he's not a top, not really... and I know he wants more than I've been able to give him? I've used toys on him but it's not the same... and he'll act like it's fine but it's not. So if you'd... you want him, don't you?
[ Lennon nibbles some more at Daeshim's jaw and maybe he needs a chew toy for when he's anxious. ]
Humans don't have bargains. We trust our commitments.
[a "top". he knows what the term means, and that it doesn't entirely apply to him, but only because nothing really applies to him completely. bodies and acts don't do much for him without feelings, but those feelings open him up to everything.
daeshim is just now realizing that he might be weird.
but even between them, it's not common for lennon to take that role. that's all he really knows.]
Of course I want him. [he loves hunter, but more importantly he likes him. daeshim feels comfortable with him. hunter has a knack for accepting, even if he surely doesn't always understand.] But people are more than their body parts and what they can do with them. I will go to him more, but there will be times when he wants you.
[the fae draws a sudden breath, and blinks a few times. the wheels are clearly rolling.
(he'll come back to the "commitments" thing. he's still chewing that info over.]
[ Lennon hesitates at the question and then he shakes his head. ]
Not really, no. I don't dislike it but I usually don't prefer it. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it, though. Sometimes I just enjoy the way I can make someone feel.
[ He generally has always tried to mold himself to please others though, to give them what they wanted. It's not a stretch to say he's a switch but he definitely has always leaned toward bottom if left to his own instincts completely without interference. ]
M..maybe... but maybe he'll feel more satisfied with what I can give him if he's getting... more.
[he doesn't bother asking if hunter told him that he was unsatisfied or if lennon just fears that he is. he doesn't think hunter would say such a thing, and he knows how lennon thinks of himself sometimes. that he's somehow never enough.]
There is a loophole in every deal.
[incorporating them. finding them. this is also a fae thing. daeshim pets lennon's hair before planting a kiss against his head.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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How did you know I wanted hot chocolate too?
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[he places the tray on the bed, carefully handing lennon the cup first before he crawls in on his side.]
I used the last of the mint. I will grow and harvest more tomorrow.
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[ Lennon asks and maybe he's feeling a little unsteady after their conversation. But he nods at the mention of Dae growing more mint. ]
I'm sorry... about everything.
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A small one. To make sure it was not too hot!
[his slice of bread is so thick that he has to pick it up with both hands. he takes a bite and the whole thing melts like butter on his tongue - as to be expected of jasper's baking.]
It's done now. That's all that matters.
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I won't do something like that again.
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[it's all he can say, his mouth too full with the second bite. he doesn't want to think about it anymore. it still hurts, feeling like he was chosen and then unchosen, special and then not. but it's something that he will deal with and overcome on his own. by the time he swallows again, he's noticed something to change the subject with.]
What happened to your lips?
[daeshim puts his bread down, scooting onto his knees for a better loook at them.]
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I was anxious. So I was biting them.
[ Lennon says quietly. ]
I just wanted to make everyone happy and not... unsatisfied and disappointed.
[ The words spill out because Lennon's having a hard time letting go of the fact he'd messed up like this. ]
But you're the most important and I...messed up and so I was anxious.
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Your teeth are so sharp. You must be more careful.
[he should clean them. daeshim moves off the bed so that he can get a wet washcloth from the bathroom. by the time he returns and starts dabbing the soft cloth against the small wounds, he still hasn't commented on most of what the other said. and he knows it's been noticed.]
You...cannot make everyone happy. Sometimes.
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I should have realized I was going to upset you. I should have just asked you for help.
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Deals between us should not be so easily broken.
[he says the words quietly, lifting his eyes to lennon's.]
It means that they all can be, until there's nothing left.
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I wish you had told me no.
[ Lennon murmurs, finally lowering his gaze. He hesitates and sets his hot chocolate aside in favor of curling into Daeshim whether the other is done with his lips or not. He wraps his arms tightly around him. ]
I'm still learning to understand the ways of the fae. But I can promise you that I'll always be yours and you'll always be mine. Nothing is going to change that.
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[releasing him from the bargain doesn't mean that he has to do anything, only that he's free to do it. daeshim doesn't dare think that things will remain the same. he lifts his hand up into lennon's hair.]
Mm. Because that one is my deal. No one else can undo it.
[he smiles a little. it was true even when the human resisted it.]
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[ Lennon says softly, He hadn't really wanted to be released from the bargain at least not like this...not at the expense of Daeshim... he'd just been trying to make everyone happy. ]
I wouldn't undo it if I could but I will not let you out of any of our other bargains.
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[daeshim frowns at that. it's another thing that he doesn't want to think about. he hasn't seemed unhappy to him, but he knows that others are closer to him than he is.]
I also do not need them. I would choose to abide by the terms just the same.
[there's a point here, there's a point here....and it zooms right over daeshim's head.]
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Mm... He... he's not a top, not really... and I know he wants more than I've been able to give him? I've used toys on him but it's not the same... and he'll act like it's fine but it's not. So if you'd... you want him, don't you?
[ Lennon nibbles some more at Daeshim's jaw and maybe he needs a chew toy for when he's anxious. ]
Humans don't have bargains. We trust our commitments.
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[a "top". he knows what the term means, and that it doesn't entirely apply to him, but only because nothing really applies to him completely. bodies and acts don't do much for him without feelings, but those feelings open him up to everything.
daeshim is just now realizing that he might be weird.
but even between them, it's not common for lennon to take that role. that's all he really knows.]
Of course I want him. [he loves hunter, but more importantly he likes him. daeshim feels comfortable with him. hunter has a knack for accepting, even if he surely doesn't always understand.] But people are more than their body parts and what they can do with them. I will go to him more, but there will be times when he wants you.
[the fae draws a sudden breath, and blinks a few times. the wheels are clearly rolling.
(he'll come back to the "commitments" thing. he's still chewing that info over.]
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Not really, no. I don't dislike it but I usually don't prefer it. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it, though. Sometimes I just enjoy the way I can make someone feel.
[ He generally has always tried to mold himself to please others though, to give them what they wanted. It's not a stretch to say he's a switch but he definitely has always leaned toward bottom if left to his own instincts completely without interference. ]
M..maybe... but maybe he'll feel more satisfied with what I can give him if he's getting... more.
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There is a loophole in every deal.
[incorporating them. finding them. this is also a fae thing. daeshim pets lennon's hair before planting a kiss against his head.]
Do not worry. I know how to fix this now.