[the mushroom just kind of bobs. it's dae's failed attempt to reassure lennon that he's okay...or that he will be okay. it's his version of a good cry. and it always feels good to have his cap touched so gently.
but then he hears bae's voice and he almost wants to shrink even more. yes, he's upset at the thought that bae was just teasing them back, but also at the thought that bae would think that he could joke about the hearts and feelings of others.
he must...bad, for others to think that of him. right?
daeshim listens to his words, but he can't respond or answer any of his questions as he is. so he stretches back into himself in that weird way of his - at least it's a quick transformation.]
Did you know that when you arrived, Lennon also thought that I was done with him?
[ baein drops his eyes to the floor and he's quiet for a second as he tries to rearrange his thoughts into something that isn't confusion or... well, self deprecating. ]
I felt as if I was invading, and upsetting him. In a way, I... I can understand that. But I have no claim over you. I don't even—
[ the vampire catches himself before he finishes that train of thought. looking up again, he glances to lennon first, and then daeshim. his voice wavers slightly. ]
I'm sorry. I didn't sign it because I thought it wasn't real. I just...
You must worry about upsetting me too! Lennon is a gift, I-
[he glances at lennon, back to bae, and then looks down a little guiltily.]
I know I am not tall, I am not handsome or charming. [the daeshim that bae knows must be all of these things and more.] To be honest, I have also worried. I have hesitated, because I was afraid that I would end up alone. But...
[he shakes his head. these are things that he's kept to himself for a reason, and they're mostly resolved feelings now.]
I know now that he won't be taken away from me, nor I from him. But it doesn't mean that my heart is closed. It's not so simple, is it? Are we invading on your feelings for Jasper? In your world, who is the one who's not needed or wanted? Is it Jasper or is it me? Which one could you live without?
[ Lennon stays quiet, still just holding Daeshim close and letting that calm him down bit by bit. His heart rate isn't quite all the way back to normal still. His eyes lower and it's all kind of strange. How Baein talks like he has no claim to Daeshim when Lennon thinks that Baein and Jasper have the most claim to him. He rests his forehead on Daeshim's shoulder, hugging tight around his middle.
He wants to argue when Daeshim talks about himself that way. His grip only tightening around him. He will tell daeshim how perfect he is again later...
He swallows a little at the direction the conversation takes and he feels like he doesn't quite belong in this conversation. He peeks at Baein before looking away and focuses on calming down some more. ]
I worry about upsetting you! All of you. Both of you. Because I...
[ because he loves daeshim. because he has love for lennon too but he's not sure how to pick that apart yet, or how to express it, because it's difficult to sort through his own mind. baein's voice crackles a little when daeshim compares himself again. ]
You're Daeshim. That's all that matters. Don't compare yourself. Lennon too. The two of you, least of all, deserve to be alone. I would never, ever try to take that from you. If I can help that not happen—
[ opening his mouth to continue, the prince's voice gets caught in his throat for a second and he tries to swallow down the way his voice goes tight, tighter than he thought it could get. because the idea that he would live without either jasper or daeshim tears a hole inside him and— and he misses them. ]
N-no. I couldn't... l-live without any of them. I couldn't— I can't—
[ it takes him a moment to realize that he's crying, that he's hitching a little on no air, and by then the vampire slides down the door to sit on the floor. ]
[daeshim understands what it feels like to love and miss someone who isn't here...he and bae have that in common, it's a feeling that no one else can understand. sometimes he wonders if it's even cruel to love bae as he does, because maybe he should be wishing him away, back to his own.
but he can't help it. what is it that he's always telling lennon? he's not human. he's a greedy creature who wants who and what he wants. and he doesn't want to lose him, not even to those he rightfully belongs with.]
Come here.
[he leans back against lennon, but he stretches one hand out for bae, hoping.]
[ Lennon can't help but feel like an intruder on this conversation. It feels like it should be just Daeshim and Baein having this conversation still. His heart squeezes when Baein cries and and he swallows heavily about to push Daeshim to go comfort him. But Daeshim leaned into him and reached out for Baein.
He doesn't want to let go of his hold on him so he doesn't, just tries to offer Baein a small encouraging smile. ]
[ if baein could read lennon's thoughts, he'd just feel justified in his suspicions and probably try to run away, so it's a good thing he's not got that skill! yet. who knows what growing as a vampire will bring.
when daeshim beckons for him, baein looks at them both with wide eyes, afraid of any kind of rejection or protest from lennon's side, unsure how to gauge the way the other hasn't spoken a word, but then... baein did something that probably shook lennon too much to handle. and that's baein's own fault.
no rejection ever comes, but the vampire remembers when he didn't take daeshim's hand once before, and he's not going to make that same mistake again. so he swallows down a few more tears, unable to stop the way they run down his cheeks, before he slowly stumbles back to his feet so he can step forward, though he's hesitant, focusing more on the silent party than daeshim for a second. ]
[once the vampire is close enough, daeshim just surges forward, grabbing bae by the wrist and tugging him in with a giggle. he's not the strongest, but stronger than his size would lead one to believe. lennon could confirm that from his piggyback rides.
if ever there was a moment for an anime-style accidental "kiss", this would probably be it, since his tug brings lennon and baein face to face. the fae is happy to be sandwiched between them.]
Do you want your form back now that you know it is not a joke?
[ lennon's hand has something tight in baein's chest unfurl, and he takes another step.
only to tumble, not unlike a ragdoll, when daeshim tugs at him, and the prince manages a yelp before he comes face to face, almost nose to nose with lennon. blinking back a few tears as he tries to focus on the features on the other side of the blur, baein goes a pale pink, eyes a little wide when he finds himself frozen.
daeshim unfreezes him though, and baein can only stutter his reply, even if he doesn't look away from lennon. his voice is a little strangled with emotion and he swallows again. ]
N-no... no... I don't.
[ daeshim is warm against him where he's smooshed against him, and he can feel the way lennon's body gives off heat too. and the vampire can't help the way he just sags a little. ]
Do you want me to...? After I... after I said those things.
[ Baein... being that close to his lips has Lennon's eyes dropping from his eyes along the line of the other's cute nose to the lips below. He'd never really kissed Baein -- just that stolen one when they were both under the influence of something else but kissing Baein had been something he'd wanted for a long time. It's... so hard to resist when he's that close.
He swallows a little as he looks back up at Baein's eyes, takes in his answer to Daeshim, his question. He decides to answer for Daeshim.
The small distance between them is closed as Lennon crushes their lips together maybe a little too hard at first and he reigns it in to kiss Baein softly, the way he deserves. But almost as soon as he'd done it the worry that Baein doesn't want him to kiss him takes hold and he pulls back, swallowing.
He bites his tongue to keep from saying sorry -- at least until... he sees the other's reaction. ]
[it brings back memories, being crushed between two lovers this way. more than daeshim expected. but those are feelings to be dealt with at another time, quietly and alone, the same way that he made peace with his happiness here and the way he still mourns everything that he left behind in the ruinwood.]
Does swimming still seem like a good date idea?
[he loops his arms around bae's waist. it's something they can do at night. they don't have to worry about something being open or closed. it doesn't cost anything. (which is good, because he still hasn't told lennon that he spent all of his allowance on popcorn.) oh, and they don't have to wear clothes for it either.
[ baein can't hold back the quiet whimper that slips out when lennon kisses him, something he was thinking about but didn't hope would happen because while they're all here, everything is still sort of raw and weird and baein's vision is still a little blurry with tears though he's trying to stave them off.
when lennon pulls back, baein unconsciously follows to kiss him again, though he breaks it a second time when he realizes what he's doing, eyes darting over lennon's face for any sign of not wanting to.
daeshim's voice is what startles him back to reality and at first the vampire doesn't register the meaning of the words. ]
[ Something eases when Baein follows and presses another kiss to his lips. It's not... something Lennon did and Baein just accepted, Baein kissed him too. Chose to kiss him. He doesn't want it to stop. His eyes meeting the other's and he smiles, his tongue brushing over his lips where he can still taste Baein on them.
He really...wants to kiss him again but there's other things to attend to. He swallows and leans his head on Daeshim as he watches Baein. ]
[ baein looks between them, still smooshed against them both and not sure he wants to move at all. the idea of going swimming has the little warmth in his body rise to his cheeks, but he nods then. ]
[ Lennon can't help it, he reaches out and strokes Baein's cheek. He bites his lip. ]
We'll make sure you get fed beforehand too.
[ Because he thinks... it would be nicer with Baein having some warmth for himself. His hand caresses a little, thumb brushing over Baein's bottom lip and he swallows before dropping his hand, the tips of his ears a tell-tale pink. ]
[swimming does come naturally to him. can he even drown? perhaps if a mer dragged him to the bottom...
the fae blinks suddenly, looks back at lennon, following the line of his arm to where his fingers stroke bae's cheek. his lips curve down at the corners.]
[ lennon's touch is so gentle, and a shiver runs down baein's spine before his eyes land on daeshim. he's not sure who the fae is talking to, but... the way he is pouting clenches at baein's heart, and he feels guilty all over again for making dae feel like that. ]
Notice you? Daeshim... how could I not?
[ baein shifts a little so he can reach more for daeshim's hand instead, swallowing quietly. this entire situation is so strange to him, but lennon kissed him, and daeshim pulled him in and— ]
Can I kiss you?
[ the vampire hitches his non!breath after he's blurted that, but he gives daeshim a little smile and reaches up with his free hand to rub the almost dried tears from his cheeks. ]
[ Lennon tilts his head to look at Daeshim when he says that, swallowing a little and he bites his lip again but he lets Baein respond as he tightens his arm around Daeshim's middle holding him close.
As the other asks to kiss Daeshim, Lennon lowers his head to press a soft kiss to Daeshim's neck, right over the flower there, letting his tongue flick out against it as he nuzzles him after.
He knows that Daeshim will want to kiss Baein but he'll make sure Daeshim knows that Lennon notices him too. ]
[not only is he short, but lennon is quite beautiful. deashim things it would be very easy to not notice him, all things considered. and that's what scares him.
he's childish. but also like a child, he's easily soothed most of the time. lennon's nuzzle gets him halfway there, making him tilt his head to expose a little more of that spot. and baein's question takes care of the rest.]
Yes. You don't have to ask ever again. You can kiss me whenever you want.
[that's also a little scary, the thought that he might look for one every day and never receive it. but it's not up to just him. dae'll be sure to initiate his share as well.]
[ baein honestly feels like he's intruding, that he shouldn't be here. but they're holding onto him and that in itself feels a little like an anchor keeping him from floating away. ]
It just... I just wanted to make sure.
[ it's quiet, subdued, but daeshim's words are like a promise, and baein glances at lennon, afraid to see if there'll be any kind of objection from his side. but if daeshim wants it, then... baein leans in to give the fae a gentle kiss. it's not the first time he's kissed him, obviously, but it feels a little different like this, as if it is the first time. ]
[until the day comes that the contract is broken, a day that daeshim can't imagine. the fae waits, a little more patient now, eyes closing right before bae's lips touch his. he remembers the flowers that bloomed on his birthday - they bloom again now in a perfect outline around the three of them. it's soft and gentle, and then-
lennon should maybe warn the new boyfriends that daeshim can be a bit...unpredictable at times. because maybe then bae would be prepared for the way that daeshim all but crawls into his lap for a more eager kiss.]
[ it's all baein gets out before the kiss steals the rest of any spoken word he might utter. and baein sighs into the kiss, though he muffles a confused noise into it the moment he suddenly has a lapful of fae climbing on him, and it's all baein can do to adjust to the new position. honestly, he should be surprised, but he settles pretty fast and and hesitantly cups the fae's cheeks with his hands as he kisses him back.
the vampire is going to tip over if daeshim pushes any further, if there's nothing to keep baein upright after all. ]
[there will be times when the fae tips him right over with his sudden affection. daeshim could tumble off the bed with him right now and keep on kissing. but he catches himself before that can happen, and bae with him. he doesn't want him to get hurt.
his face underneath bae's fingertips grows even warmer. he scoots back again once the kiss breaks, though there's never much distance between them when dae takes his hands and draws him back, resuming his place as the cream in this cookie.]
The next time we go shopping for slutty clothes, you should pick out something you want to see me in.
[do the others know that that was a thing that actually happened? no, they probably don't.]
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but then he hears bae's voice and he almost wants to shrink even more. yes, he's upset at the thought that bae was just teasing them back, but also at the thought that bae would think that he could joke about the hearts and feelings of others.
he must...bad, for others to think that of him. right?
daeshim listens to his words, but he can't respond or answer any of his questions as he is. so he stretches back into himself in that weird way of his - at least it's a quick transformation.]
Did you know that when you arrived, Lennon also thought that I was done with him?
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[ baein drops his eyes to the floor and he's quiet for a second as he tries to rearrange his thoughts into something that isn't confusion or... well, self deprecating. ]
I felt as if I was invading, and upsetting him. In a way, I... I can understand that. But I have no claim over you. I don't even—
[ the vampire catches himself before he finishes that train of thought. looking up again, he glances to lennon first, and then daeshim. his voice wavers slightly. ]
I'm sorry. I didn't sign it because I thought it wasn't real. I just...
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[he glances at lennon, back to bae, and then looks down a little guiltily.]
I know I am not tall, I am not handsome or charming. [the daeshim that bae knows must be all of these things and more.] To be honest, I have also worried. I have hesitated, because I was afraid that I would end up alone. But...
[he shakes his head. these are things that he's kept to himself for a reason, and they're mostly resolved feelings now.]
I know now that he won't be taken away from me, nor I from him. But it doesn't mean that my heart is closed. It's not so simple, is it? Are we invading on your feelings for Jasper? In your world, who is the one who's not needed or wanted? Is it Jasper or is it me? Which one could you live without?
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He wants to argue when Daeshim talks about himself that way. His grip only tightening around him. He will tell daeshim how perfect he is again later...
He swallows a little at the direction the conversation takes and he feels like he doesn't quite belong in this conversation. He peeks at Baein before looking away and focuses on calming down some more. ]
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[ because he loves daeshim. because he has love for lennon too but he's not sure how to pick that apart yet, or how to express it, because it's difficult to sort through his own mind. baein's voice crackles a little when daeshim compares himself again. ]
You're Daeshim. That's all that matters. Don't compare yourself. Lennon too. The two of you, least of all, deserve to be alone. I would never, ever try to take that from you. If I can help that not happen—
[ opening his mouth to continue, the prince's voice gets caught in his throat for a second and he tries to swallow down the way his voice goes tight, tighter than he thought it could get. because the idea that he would live without either jasper or daeshim tears a hole inside him and— and he misses them. ]
N-no. I couldn't... l-live without any of them. I couldn't— I can't—
[ it takes him a moment to realize that he's crying, that he's hitching a little on no air, and by then the vampire slides down the door to sit on the floor. ]
I'm sorry. I didn't realize...
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but he can't help it. what is it that he's always telling lennon? he's not human. he's a greedy creature who wants who and what he wants. and he doesn't want to lose him, not even to those he rightfully belongs with.]
Come here.
[he leans back against lennon, but he stretches one hand out for bae, hoping.]
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He doesn't want to let go of his hold on him so he doesn't, just tries to offer Baein a small encouraging smile. ]
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when daeshim beckons for him, baein looks at them both with wide eyes, afraid of any kind of rejection or protest from lennon's side, unsure how to gauge the way the other hasn't spoken a word, but then... baein did something that probably shook lennon too much to handle. and that's baein's own fault.
no rejection ever comes, but the vampire remembers when he didn't take daeshim's hand once before, and he's not going to make that same mistake again. so he swallows down a few more tears, unable to stop the way they run down his cheeks, before he slowly stumbles back to his feet so he can step forward, though he's hesitant, focusing more on the silent party than daeshim for a second. ]
Lennon...?
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Normally, he wouldn't want anyone else in their bed or in their room but... this is different. ]
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if ever there was a moment for an anime-style accidental "kiss", this would probably be it, since his tug brings lennon and baein face to face. the fae is happy to be sandwiched between them.]
Do you want your form back now that you know it is not a joke?
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only to tumble, not unlike a ragdoll, when daeshim tugs at him, and the prince manages a yelp before he comes face to face, almost nose to nose with lennon. blinking back a few tears as he tries to focus on the features on the other side of the blur, baein goes a pale pink, eyes a little wide when he finds himself frozen.
daeshim unfreezes him though, and baein can only stutter his reply, even if he doesn't look away from lennon. his voice is a little strangled with emotion and he swallows again. ]
N-no... no... I don't.
[ daeshim is warm against him where he's smooshed against him, and he can feel the way lennon's body gives off heat too. and the vampire can't help the way he just sags a little. ]
Do you want me to...? After I... after I said those things.
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He swallows a little as he looks back up at Baein's eyes, takes in his answer to Daeshim, his question. He decides to answer for Daeshim.
The small distance between them is closed as Lennon crushes their lips together maybe a little too hard at first and he reigns it in to kiss Baein softly, the way he deserves. But almost as soon as he'd done it the worry that Baein doesn't want him to kiss him takes hold and he pulls back, swallowing.
He bites his tongue to keep from saying sorry -- at least until... he sees the other's reaction. ]
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Does swimming still seem like a good date idea?
[he loops his arms around bae's waist. it's something they can do at night. they don't have to worry about something being open or closed. it doesn't cost anything. (which is good, because he still hasn't told lennon that he spent all of his allowance on popcorn.) oh, and they don't have to wear clothes for it either.
wait-]
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when lennon pulls back, baein unconsciously follows to kiss him again, though he breaks it a second time when he realizes what he's doing, eyes darting over lennon's face for any sign of not wanting to.
daeshim's voice is what startles him back to reality and at first the vampire doesn't register the meaning of the words. ]
Swimming...?
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He really...wants to kiss him again but there's other things to attend to. He swallows and leans his head on Daeshim as he watches Baein. ]
Mm...would you like to?
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I'm not a very good swimmer... but... yes.
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We'll make sure you get fed beforehand too.
[ Because he thinks... it would be nicer with Baein having some warmth for himself. His hand caresses a little, thumb brushing over Baein's bottom lip and he swallows before dropping his hand, the tips of his ears a tell-tale pink. ]
And we're good swimmers.
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[swimming does come naturally to him. can he even drown? perhaps if a mer dragged him to the bottom...
the fae blinks suddenly, looks back at lennon, following the line of his arm to where his fingers stroke bae's cheek. his lips curve down at the corners.]
Notice me too.
[it's not to one or the other, it's to both.]
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Notice you? Daeshim... how could I not?
[ baein shifts a little so he can reach more for daeshim's hand instead, swallowing quietly. this entire situation is so strange to him, but lennon kissed him, and daeshim pulled him in and— ]
Can I kiss you?
[ the vampire hitches his non!breath after he's blurted that, but he gives daeshim a little smile and reaches up with his free hand to rub the almost dried tears from his cheeks. ]
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As the other asks to kiss Daeshim, Lennon lowers his head to press a soft kiss to Daeshim's neck, right over the flower there, letting his tongue flick out against it as he nuzzles him after.
He knows that Daeshim will want to kiss Baein but he'll make sure Daeshim knows that Lennon notices him too. ]
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he's childish. but also like a child, he's easily soothed most of the time. lennon's nuzzle gets him halfway there, making him tilt his head to expose a little more of that spot. and baein's question takes care of the rest.]
Yes. You don't have to ask ever again. You can kiss me whenever you want.
[that's also a little scary, the thought that he might look for one every day and never receive it. but it's not up to just him. dae'll be sure to initiate his share as well.]
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It just... I just wanted to make sure.
[ it's quiet, subdued, but daeshim's words are like a promise, and baein glances at lennon, afraid to see if there'll be any kind of objection from his side. but if daeshim wants it, then... baein leans in to give the fae a gentle kiss. it's not the first time he's kissed him, obviously, but it feels a little different like this, as if it is the first time. ]
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[until the day comes that the contract is broken, a day that daeshim can't imagine. the fae waits, a little more patient now, eyes closing right before bae's lips touch his. he remembers the flowers that bloomed on his birthday - they bloom again now in a perfect outline around the three of them. it's soft and gentle, and then-
lennon should maybe warn the new boyfriends that daeshim can be a bit...unpredictable at times. because maybe then bae would be prepared for the way that daeshim all but crawls into his lap for a more eager kiss.]
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[ it's all baein gets out before the kiss steals the rest of any spoken word he might utter. and baein sighs into the kiss, though he muffles a confused noise into it the moment he suddenly has a lapful of fae climbing on him, and it's all baein can do to adjust to the new position. honestly, he should be surprised, but he settles pretty fast and and hesitantly cups the fae's cheeks with his hands as he kisses him back.
the vampire is going to tip over if daeshim pushes any further, if there's nothing to keep baein upright after all. ]
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his face underneath bae's fingertips grows even warmer. he scoots back again once the kiss breaks, though there's never much distance between them when dae takes his hands and draws him back, resuming his place as the cream in this cookie.]
The next time we go shopping for slutty clothes, you should pick out something you want to see me in.
[do the others know that that was a thing that actually happened? no, they probably don't.]
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CUTS IN LINE REAL QUICK