inbox. [jikan]

[faeshim]

Comments

[faeshim]

you are very warm and loving, you are good at keeping promises, your cheeks are very soft, and you smell good. even before you shower, you always smell good.

do i get to ask one?

[privatechat]

[ okay. He’s smiling. ]

Mhm.

[faeshim]

what do you dislike most about me?

[privatechat]

[ oh. Smile gone. ]

when you eat a whole bunch of bread in bed.

[ no… not really. ]

when I need you to understand me and I know you can’t. But that’s not really fair because I know you want to

[faeshim]

but bread is delicious at all hours!

it is difficult, i know.

[privatechat]

crumbs and it stresses me out!!

mm…

what do you dislike most about me?

[faeshim]

this one is easy

that you don't eat bread in bed!

[privatechat]

… I don’t like bread.

[faeshim]

i

my heart is broken

[privatechat]

it’s not good for me.

[faeshim]

how can bread not be good for you? it helps the belly as well as the heart.

[privatechat]

I don’t want to talk about food.

[faeshim]

you think i don't notice, but i do.

[privatechat]

… what?

[faeshim]

it is nothing you want to talk about tonight, i know this. and we do not have to.

but know that i'm always paying attention to you.

[privatechat]

Im fine. I don’t know what you think you see.

[faeshim]

ok

[privatechat]

are you upset at me

[faeshim]

i am not. but we should not talk about things if one of us doesn't want to.

[privatechat]

we’re already talking about it. So say what you really want to, Dae.

[faeshim]

you sounded like i see nothing. like i have imagined things.

i know i have not. but what can i do?

[privatechat]

talk plainly is what you can do. What is it you really want to say to me about it? About what you see.

[faeshim]

i don't know why you don't eat much. at first i thought you simply didn't get hungry as much.

but you hide from it. you avoid it. and sometimes i even hear your stomach. why?

[privatechat]

[ if this came up in person Lennon would have run away. As it is he’s locked himself in the bathroom and he rereads the messages over several times. He should have let it drop but he just couldn’t.]

it’s complicated.

[ He decides to be a bit clinical, it’s easier if he detaches himself a little. ]

I’m anorexic.

[ and he manages to be clinical for that two seconds. ]

because I’m broken and I can’t fix it. I’m trying to get better.

[faeshim]

[what a strange word...he's never seen it before, but he can guess what it means. he'll confirm it later.]

how can i help? should i stop eating bread in bed?