faeshim | inbox. [jikan]

you think i don't notice, but i do.

… what?

it is nothing you want to talk about tonight, i know this. and we do not have to.

but know that i'm always paying attention to you.

Im fine. I don’t know what you think you see.

ok

are you upset at me

i am not. but we should not talk about things if one of us doesn't want to.

we’re already talking about it. So say what you really want to, Dae.

you sounded like i see nothing. like i have imagined things.

i know i have not. but what can i do?

talk plainly is what you can do. What is it you really want to say to me about it? About what you see.

i don't know why you don't eat much. at first i thought you simply didn't get hungry as much.

but you hide from it. you avoid it. and sometimes i even hear your stomach. why?

[ if this came up in person Lennon would have run away. As it is he’s locked himself in the bathroom and he rereads the messages over several times. He should have let it drop but he just couldn’t.]

it’s complicated.

[ He decides to be a bit clinical, it’s easier if he detaches himself a little. ]

I’m anorexic.

[ and he manages to be clinical for that two seconds. ]

because I’m broken and I can’t fix it. I’m trying to get better.

[what a strange word...he's never seen it before, but he can guess what it means. he'll confirm it later.]

how can i help? should i stop eating bread in bed?

I don’t want to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do where… but it does stress me out

then i will stop. bread is delicious but i love you more.

I’m trying to get better.

you will. you have people who love you, and are cheering for you. people who depend on you. you will find your strength.

I tried to hide it from you because I’m ashamed of it… and I’m sorry I made it seem like I didn’t know what you were talking about…

were you afraid of something?

Why do you ask that...?

if there is some reason why i made you feel ashamed to tell me, i want to change it if i can.

It's not you...It's me. You didn't do anything wrong.

ok

i just wanted to make sure that you knew that there is nothing that would turn me away from you. you are mine.

Mm. I know.

good!

will you talk to me more about it now?

(no subject)

privatechat - 2022-06-23 18:28 (UTC) - Expand