inbox. [jikan]

[faeshim]

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[faeshim]

[it takes him a long time to respond to that. mostly because he has to think through some things.]

i...understand.

i also want to make things better.

i mean less to them now, i know this. there is likely no place in their hearts for me as i am. so i selfishly think of taking all of yours for myself. not just your heart but your body too.

what can we do?

[privatechat]

I don't think that's true, that there's no place for you... I think you three are tied and meant to be no matter how you come together so it'd just... be a matter of time.

[ And it still makes his stomach twist in a strange way but he doesn't like to think Daeshim really believes that. He sighs before he continues with another message to address the rest of that. ]

You have my whole heart, Dae. No one else has a piece of it... it's just you.

Do you just... Are you just replacing them with me? If they were your Jasper and your Baein... you wouldn't want all of my heart and all of my body?

[ Everything's all tangled up inside of him now, more than when he started. And he feels fragile admitting that the other has his heart because it means Dae can break him. He loves him and even if he says as much as he does he can't say those words. Not when in the same breath he feels his insecurities reignited. ]

[faeshim]

you are not a replacement.

[he knows this for certain, though he worries that he won't be able to remove the doubt from lennon.]

if they were my bae and jasper, i would want you the same. if the strange magic of this place whispered a bargain where i could trade you for them, i would not. you are mine. we are also meant to be.

[privatechat]

[ Lennon can't help but doubt it. How could he not? ]

You made it sound like you only thought of taking all of it because you think they're not yours.

But Dae... even if I'm a replacement it doesn't matter because you're mine and I'm yours.

And I don't know what to do to help you not feel jealous.

Should I never kiss anyone else?

[faeshim]

you are not a replacement.

[because it bears repeating.]

you are my lennon. you are my first. why shouldn't i take you for my own, the way i did with them? i stole bae, took him away from everything that he knew and loved, until i could not stand his sadness anymore. this is what i meant. should i do this with you here? sometimes i look at you and fear that i will. i am a greedy creature whose jealousy is dangerous. you, more than anyone, i want. you, i know i love.

[and it might be lennon's undoing.]

[privatechat]

[ It's hard for Lennon to wrap his brain around this. Any of it really. He's quiet, rubbing his communicator anxiously and feeling unsettled and he's not sure why. ]

Dae...You already have me.

To me... sex is meaningless by itself. It just feels good.

And there's things I like that I know you wouldn't like... and...

It doesn't matter. if you tell me to only have sex with you, to only kiss you then I'll do it. I'm yours, Dae. You don't have to steal me, I gave myself to you.

[faeshim]

...i know. i knew this before.

i am still jealous of those people who can give you what i cannot, because i am greedy. but i would not trade with them. i have the real treasure.

i won't tell you this. but i know you would be true to your word if i did, and that...thank you.

[privatechat]

I want it from you. I'd rather it be you. But I could do without those things.

Sex with you is the only sex that means anything.

Create some boundaries for me, with me, if nothing else.

[faeshim]

[this one and boundaries...are you sure about that, lennon?

especially when it actually sounds kind of fun to him.]

ok!

[privatechat]

so, what boundaries do you want~?

[faeshim]

hmm.

on fridays you are mine alone. no one else can have you.

[privatechat]

I can do that. Anything else?

[faeshim]

that should do for now.

[privatechat]

not every morning but most mornings can you be beside me when I wake up?

[faeshim]

every morning!

[even if there was someone else on his other side. he loves being a fae sandwich.]

just before dawn is the best for cuddling.

[privatechat]

Do you know what it means when I say you’re mine?

[faeshim]

yes

when you say that i'm yours. when you say that i have your whole heart or that sex only means something with me.

i know when you look at me too. i know what it all means.

[privatechat]

thank you, dae.

I really want to be with you right now.

[faeshim]

come and find me!

[he'll leave a little vine trail for lennon to follow. a short chase, a short game to one of the birthday tents that he left up.]

[privatechat]

Lennon rolls his eyes but he smiles and tucks the communicator away before he finds the vine trail. It’s cute, and makes him feel warm and fuzzy as he seeks out Daeshim — finding him at one of the tents that still left from the party.

He picks up his pace to get there faster, very intent on finding his fae and getting his hands and lips on him.

i posted to the wrong response, whoops!

[faeshim]

He likes to be outside sometimes. But he's not sure if Lennon does, and it's too far away from Jasper's kitchen (aka Lennon's kitchen). And Bae can't tolerate the sun.

So he comes alone. Maybe that's why he's naked, who knows.

Re: i posted to the wrong response, whoops!

[privatechat]

Lennon doesn’t mind being outside. Especially with Daeshim. It’s a nice day too and so it extra doesn’t bother him.

He finds the naked fae in the tent and all but pounces him, giving him a kiss in way of greeting.

[faeshim]

Daeshim falls back with a soft 'oof', but his arms and his lips are ready to receive. A few vines curl around Lennon too, sprouting the same bright bloom that's on the Fae's neck. It makes the inside of the tent smell sweeter.

"Maybe this game isn't so bad." The one where they try to find each other.

[privatechat]

Lennon smiles, nuzzling his nose against Daeshim’s cheek. He glances at the vines with a raised brow and reaches to touch one of the blooms before touching Daeshim’s neck softly. He drops his head, burying his face against it for a moment, inhaling and then kissing the spot.

“When it’s like this it’s good,” he hums, nipping at a sensitive spot on the others throat. Ever careful with his fangs, though.

[faeshim]

Dae sighs, the exhale trembling when Lennon finds that spot on his neck. He tilts his head a little to give him more access to it.

"You are the first person who ever loved me first." Even if Lennon doesn't say the words, he knows. And it feels significant. "It's...meaningful."